Self Confidence
“Coaching with Shelly has been life changing. She has helped me see where I struggle to take risks and how to successfully move into my true freedom. I have enjoyed her honest and straightforward way of working with me. I am excited about my future, because I feel that I truly have one to look forward to.” Client – L. K.
Confidence is a belief about yourself that is attached to your perceived competence and worth. Often times, what we THINK about ourselves is buried below the FEELINGS that accompany positive or negative outcomes in our daily lives. External confidence is based on performance and perfection. Internal confidence knows that no matter how things turn out, I will be alright.
Confidence Building
Everybody wants more self-confidence. You may easily spot people with high confidence and try to repeat what they are doing, but when does self-confidence sink in and become part of your DNA structure? When will feelings of courage and passion take over to the point that it won’t matter what anyone else thinks, you will do it anyway? Confidence is built intentionally and must be nurtured and practiced on an ongoing basis.
How to Build Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is an inside job. The only way to build self-confidence is by taking RISKS that show you that you can count on yourself. When you say “Yes” when you mean “No”, your confidence plummets. When you take the risk to speak up for your needs and learn to avoid the approval of others, your self-confidence rises.
Risk fears judgment. Worry about judgment from others is the biggest obstacle to taking the necessary personal steps that are the only way to building self-confidence. Here are some common daily risks that either boost or tear down your confidence:
- Making a decision and letting the rest go
- Forgiving yourself quickly when you make a mistake
- Expressing your opinions
- Asking for someone else to help you
- Turning around a disappointment quickly without judging or labeling the situation
- Feeling scared, but doing it anyway
- Giving up the need to be right
Increase Confidence
Getting over the FEELING of taking a risk is usually what stops us from taking a risk. When you learn to separate the feelings from the facts, tap into positive self-talk and acknowledge yourself for past accomplishments you are well on the way to increasing your confidence.
Small Risks add up. When you keep track of the ways you are living true to yourself, you will begin to believe in yourself based on the risks of living in your truth; not by manufactured ego or copying someone else’s actions, which only promote artificial confidence.
Self Confidence Exercises
- Practice living in the unknown as you ponder decisions. Become comfortable not knowing. Discover options. Become aware that you will be okay with what ever happens
- De-personalize the situation. Practice separating your feelings from the facts
- Give up perfection. Become comfortable being human. Forgive yourself and others quickly
- Acknowledge yourself daily for the ways you are being true to yourself. List specific actions
